I know we’ve talked about it a few times before on here but ever since my sister had her beautiful baby boy and my husband’s friends welcomed their first baby into this beautiful world I wouldn’t be lying if I said it wasn’t on my mind. What is that exactly? Why postpartum depression of course.
I know I’ve talked about this before and what I dealt with after having Oj. I know it didn’t help I was already depressed before, but this scares me every time I think of us starting to TTC again. I know Oj would be such a great big brother. I mean he adores my nieces and already adores my nephew. He told me that baby V was his and he wasn’t leaving him. It was too cute, but scared me because while I have a strong urge to have another baby, I’m terrified of going through postpartum depression again. It took a huge toll on me and it didn’t help that once I started to bounce back from it Grandma got sick and passed away. That of course sent me into a deeper depression. I think what set it off was how horrible I was treated during my delivery and after care. My birth room was RIGHT next to the nurses’ station and I was assigned a floating nurse which isn’t a big deal except when you are told they heard you were in pain but didn’t want to come check on you until the very last minute. Oj came very quickly once my labor actually started, 5 hours and I was terrified to even let the Mr. leave the room. I found out they heard me from my husband’s aunt that works there. The time they did come and check on me NO ONE believed I was ready to push. I get I was 19 when I came to you AND on state insurance at the time. That doesn’t give you the right to treat someone like that.
Then I find out after I tell them I want to switch his formula that he wasn’t eating the previous stuff. It’s NEVER a fun feeling to hear the nurse say “Oh it’s so nice to see him eating now!” As if it was no big deal. I was so sad about this I cried after she left. Then I didn’t really talk to anyone so the only people that came to see me were the Mr., my mother, Grandmas, and my aunt. As if that wasn’t enough I had to switch rooms which wasn’t a big deal except the FORGOT that they moved me so I didn’t get lunch (and being exhausted didn’t even realize it until his Aunt found me after the lady came up to get the trays all shocked they forgot me). I had spent many years feeling alone and the one time I needed people to help me, I was left feeling all alone again. This is why I’ve made it a personal mission to make sure people like my sister or husband’s friend know that I’m here if you need someone. I know most people have normal family that helps and such but sometimes you don’t and it’s okay too. You are a strong person and if you ever doubt it just look at that beautiful baby you helped bring into this world. I know that postpartum depression is a dark subject, but I think it’s something we need to talk about more often.